I started reading a new book today that was recommended by my sweet Alisa.
The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.
One of our children has a tough time expressing himself and it often comes out in anger and frustration so Alisa thought this book may shed some light on how to better show and receive love from our angry little bear (my words not hers).
As I read through the first several chapters it was very clear that a couple of our kids most definitely show and receive love through touch.
Graham is very physically affectionate but he is also very clumsy. So he will come running at me full speed for a hug or kiss and crack me in the nose or hug me so tight around the waist that he knocks me off balance. I often will deflect his advances for fear of injury. After reading I realized I need to initiate bear hugs, wrestling, pats on the shoulder, rubs on the head and the like to really speak to his little self.
Brennan is also shows and receives love through touch. He always flops down next to me and lays his head on my shoulder. He loves to be hugged even in front of friends. He'll even hold my hand in the middle of Wal-mart. I'm going to have to work on allowing them to show me love through touch and also showing them love that way. It is not my love language, and I actually really struggle with it.
Tanner I'm still figuring out. But he definitely seems to respond to quality time.
As I'm working through the kids and trying to learn to love them better, I decided to ask them "How do you know I love you?"
Graham said, "Because you tell me billions of times a day" This shows that he also feels loved through words of affirmation.
Brennan said, "because you work so hard and do nice things for us" That is acts of service, my favorite way to show love. Fortunately he sees that as love and not just busyness.
Tanner told me he feels loved "because you tell me all the time and you take us neat places" That is words of affirmation and quality time.
Anneliese said, "because you tell me and kiss me and you're my mommy" Words of affirmation and touch.
Elijah said, "Why...why are you asking? WHY WHY WHY???"
Ugh...the main kid I'm reading the book for and I get nuttin'. Stink pot, guess I better keep reading.