God had a book He wanted me to read.
Typically I wouldn't claim such a bold statement, but...I was gifted the same book 3 times in a month. How can you deny that? I was thankful for the gift the first time, a birthday gift from my sweet Alisa, but too busy to sit down and start it. The second time it came in an email with a link. Not knowing anything about the author plus not realizing it was the same book I was gifted I just a week before, the email was skimmed and set aside.
I was in the hospital and feeling really down, and depression was sneaking in. Even though I had told Jared I didn't want company (due to feeling sorry for myself) he knew better. He encouraged my friends to visit. What a gift!
One of my visitors was my sweet Michelle and her hubby Nick. She brought me a gift bag. It's not surprising since this is her love language. So generous, always thoughtful. As I opened the bag I immediately noticed, the book! The same book!
After everyone went home I was alone with my thoughts. I had been fever free for about 18 hours and was told I had to be fever free for 24 before they'd even consider letting me go home. I started to chill. I text Jared and said, "I'm pretty sure my fever is back, do I tell them?" This may sound ridiculous, but I was desperate to be home, to be well. He said, "Of course! We don't want to have to bring you back."
Sure enough my fever was 100.5 and climbing. My nurse Matt (who was awesome) told me to get up, take deep breaths and we'd check in a hour. I was so upset. I decided to sit in the recliner and start the book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.
My mind was transformed from the depressed, self pity, wallower, to a thankful gift seeking lover of God. I am constantly on the search for another thing to be thankful for to add to my list.
Yesterday in church Elijah was sitting in front of me. He kept sticking his hands through the back of the seat. Since he was born we have all loved his hands. We've always said he has paws. Our favorite phrase for him is, "don't poke the bear." His chubby little hands, a smaller and thicker version of his Daddy's with perfectly placed brown specks. I pulled my journal from my purse and wrote:
10. Elijah's paws.
He turned and noticed me writing and asked, "what is that?" I explained it is where I write things I'm thankful for so I can praise God and thank Him for each thing. Then he said, "What are you writing?" I answered, "I am thankful for your hands. I love your paws." He smiled so sweet and genuine looking at his own hands and said, "Really?"
Yes sweet boy, I am thankful for every square inch of you and I praise God that I have you even if it's just for a while.