Wednesday, June 4, 2008


Well I'm not real sure what's happening :) I have been super in tune with ever little ache and pain. I have been operating on the assumption that I am already pregnant (only by about 12 days or so). It may sound silly but this being my 7th pregnancy with 4 little boys and 2 miscarriages I really feel like I should know what it feels like. I've taken several tests and yesterday went to the Doctor for lab work.

So far everything has come back negative and I really thought that the lab test would vindicate me and I would be able to announce to the world, "it worked! already!" The problem is my blood test came back as having a low level of HCG and a very low level of progesterone. Basically it's one of several things:

1) I'm pregnant and it's too early to tell (totally possible since my cycle should start June 10)

2) I'm pregnant and my progesterone was too low to sustain it therefore leading to miscarriage in a matter of days

3) Not pregnant at all, better luck next time.

To be real honest I would have staked my life on the fact that I was/am. I cried for a minute mainly because of the release of emotion leading up to the call. Now I'm good. It's hard to mourn when you don't even know if there's anything to mourn. I didn't anticipate getting pregnant this month so it would have been a great surprise. We still feel excited and called to this and I'm happy with #3, better luck next time.

I am learning however to keep things to myself. It was completely irrational to jump the gun and start talking about it. I am hoping that all of my "feelings" are accurate and we actually are, but honestly we're fertile and if we're in His will it will happen in His time. Amen?! I apologize for all the hooplah apparently I'm more excited for this than I even thought.

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