I feel like I need to fill you in a bit.
Ever since the birth of our 4th I have had a nagging desire for more. My husband on the other hand felt we were 99.9% done. I have been okay with that off and on until recently when my brother in law called to see if Jared wanted to go with him for a vasectomy. Wow! That's personal. I just asked him to pray fervently and whatever he decided was going to have to be good with me.
I also started a prayer fest and just asked God each night to put us on the same page so to speak. I fully expected that I would be the one to change but on Mother's day my Jared told me that he felt his 99.9% shifting. WHoo HOo. He just really feels the Lord telling him, "Would it be so bad to have 1 more baby in your home?"
So after many tears and a lot of prayers we have decided to start the process. I'm 31 and have had a couple rough pregnancies and 2 very sick babies. Our first step is a trip to the doc to see if he feels all is well for baby #5.
I have been laying in bed thinking about this little person that may be joining us. It's been a lot of fun. We have 3 strawberry blond boys and 1 brunette. I wonder if it's boy #5 if he'll be a brunette as well so our little Elijah will have a pair!
I've also been thinking about the obvious, "what if it's a girl!?!" I told God (He loves it when we do that) that I wouldn't mind so much if it's a girl as long as it's twins (I know you're gasping for breath). Here's my reasoning, I just think if we had a girl she'd need a girl playmate or she'd be the biggest tom boy ever with 4 older brothers and being home schooled. She's sure to be super strange :) Another little girl would balance things and all would be good in the Altic world.
Jared and I aren't planning a household like the Duggar Family. We are just wanting to live in God's will regardless of how crazy the world may think it is. We both feel called to this baby(ies) and know that He will provide for him/her and the rest of our family both financially and emotionally.
It's a fact that as a Minister's family we are subjected to the thoughts and opinions of others. I don't ever want my pregnant belly or our children to be a point of resentment with our congregation. Their offerings pay our salary and we are sensitive to that. I guess I just feel it is necessary to share how we have been on our knees over this decision. I strongly feel we should not happen upon having a 5th child but that it be a purposeful and prayerful decision.
So here goes everything! I will let you know how the Doctor's appointment goes. It's Thursday at 3:30. I would covet your prayers that whatever he says I am able to accept it and move forward with our family and God's will!