Figuring It Out...

Today marks a week since our little girl joined us. That's hard to believe. She's perfectly beautiful and quite laid back. I feel blessed by her desire to just sit and check out her surroundings while she's awake. She's a content little girl.

I'd be lying if I said I haven't had a ball changing her clothes. She's decked out in lime green and pink today with a matching blanket. Wanna see?


As much fun as she is and as good as life really is I'm sad. I'm sad and angry. Good combo for a new mom of 5. I've been off my anti-depressant now for 10 days and at the nudging of my husband called in to ask for a substitute. I went off of it because it's not safe for breastfeeding. Apparently there are some that are fine. I've struggled off and on (mainly on) since my Dad passed and am realizing now is not the time to see if I can do without.

My goal was to just work out of the darkest time and I ended up staying on them for 18 mos. I would really like to ween myself off of them because I really do feel like I'm healing but postpartum really isn't the time.

Like with most things this is trial and error. The last thing I need right now is to alienate myself from my friends and family. Those boys (and man) are my joy and I don't want them to question it just because I can't get a hold of all this. Please pray for us as we seek God's will.