Anxious (warning birth stories ahead, not for the weak stomached)

Last night I was introduced to the newest member of our church. Baby Nolan was born on the 9th. He was 10 pounds and Joy had him without any meds. What a woman!

My reaction to meeting that precious baby was odd to me. Seeing him brought me great anxiety. Not so much for the baby itself but for delivery. You would think with my desire for a big family pregnancy and delivery would be a cinch for me. Not the case. Brennan was really the only delivery that went off without a hitch.

Tanner was 9 lbs 3 oz and 23" long. They took him at 37 weeks due to my blood pressure and he had shoulder dystocia. Everything seemed to be going okay but he was bigger than my pelvis. His little (well huge) shoulders couldn't pass and he was stuck. Dr. Sheridan was able to remove him eventually without any lasting injuries to Tanner. The birth was tramatic and I ended up with nerve damage to my bladder, severe injuries in the nether region and nightmares for the next several weeks. That was awful.

Elijah's birth was easy I think. I don't honestly remember any of it. The problem with Eli started in the hospital our first night. He had neon spit up. I mentioned it to the nurse and she was sure it was just colostrum. Last I checked my body didn't produce fluids that glow in the dark. We took him home and my first concern was that he would just stop breathing. His lips would turn purple and I would have to startle him so he would take a breath. Knowing no one would sleep that night I called Dr. Yu with my concerns and while explaining my 4 day old's scary behavior Elijah vomited an extraordinary amount of fluid covering me, the chair, and a lot of the floor. Again it was neon yellow. Apparently it was bile and our little boy was in a lot of trouble. Really long scary story short he had emergency surgery that night and spent the next 10 days in Children's Mercy while we waited to see if he would survive.

Graham's birth was...crazy. I had a bizarre pregnancy with 3 due dates as much as 5 weeks apart. I struggled with post partum depression while I was pregnant. They gave me shots in my hip to try and regulate my hormones and I was still not myself for the duration. At 34 weeks (we think) I started contractions and headed into the office. Sure enough within a hour I was dilating quickly so she sent me to the hospital. I labored for 18 hours with contractions but not much pain. I was dilated to a 7 and labor stopped. Then there was the question, I was 34 weeks do you continue labor or go home and surely deliver at home? With it being my 4th and already a 7 as soon as labor starts back up they knew it would go very quickly. So they broke my water. I started hard contracting within a hour. One contraction, two, Three contraction, HEAD, four contraction GRAHAM!!! Jared and I were alone in the room and we delivered that baby sans doctor. He hit the bed and aspirated all the amniotic fluid in his nose and throat. He was rushed to the NICU and stayed there for 8 days. While there I wasn't allowed to touch him or even talk while sitting next to him. He was a non-stimulus baby and touching him made breathing so much more difficult for him. He ended up with pneumonia due to the aspiration.

So...I'm getting a little anxious. Can you blame me?! Surely we will start with an easy birth and end with one...right?