St. Louie

We arrived safe and sound.  It took us nearly 5 hours because my pregnant self couldn't go to long without a bathroom break.  

Kyle D. rode a long and he and I had fun serenading Jared on the ride.  We plugged in the ol' ipod and poor Jared got hours of Kyle and I off key and really loud.  It was fun until they started talking fantasy football and I zoned out and listened to a little J.T. on my own for the last 45 mins or so.  

I am entering into the "feed me now" stage of the pregnancy.  I have been craving tacos something fierce so we had Taco Bell for lunch and it hasn't ever tasted so good.  It's funny because I think my cravings so far have been far more specific than previous pregnancies.  Butter tastes wonderful, burgers rock, and anything mexican is a necessity.  I may have to try Culver's I hear they have Butter Burgers add a soft taco supreme and I'm in heaven!

I told Kyle that I liked the name Hazel and he said if we used it he would lovingly call her Hazelnut.  How cute is that?  I may call her that myself.  I found an old friend on Facebook and she has a little girl who's middle name is Karinne (Karen but with a soft "i").  I LOVE it and think Hazel Karinne is pretty.  We have also talked about Scarlett and tonight I met a Scarlett and I asked her what she thought of her name.  She insisted that she loved it and any little girl would be blessed to have it.  Her friends nicknamed her Scarly or Letta Joe (her middle name is Joe).

Tomorrow we have a date planned for the entire day because the wedding isn't until evening.  We are heading out to the historic St. Charles for some antiquing and wandering around.  Jared said it's like old Weston.  I can't wait.  

The boys are being spoiled and so are we.  This weekend is a blessing.  

1+1=6

We have a very prolific household. I came home from work this afternoon to Jared on the porch quietly telling me of their very eventful morning. Apparently hamsters have a 3 week turnaround before they can give birth again. Our little Bella gave birth and out of fear began killing her young.

The boys were mortified. Jared immediately removed the male from the cage and told the boys to leave her alone. She settled down and seems to have 4 or 5 new little ones. They are absolutely tiny. They are the size of the tip of your little finger.

In a frenzy I checked craigslist for a new habitat for our little bachelor and was able to find one close. He is now residing in the office in a deluxe suite all his own.

My plan is to figure out what sex the new babies are and keep a couple males and rehome all the females. Or now that we have two nice set ups we may have a boys and girls dorm. The kids are absolutely in love with these fur creatures. Tanner gave me a big squeeze this afternoon thanking me for his furbabies. They have been a bit of work but that hug made it all worth it.

Hi Ho Hi Ho It's off to Work I Go

I'm heading back to Englewood this morning to do back to back Weight Watcher's meetings. I am struggling with the whole, "I don't wanna" syndrome. I'm not sure why. It pays well and after this morning my commitment is done and I go back to just working Mondays again.

I think I have weekend-itus. I am really eager to head off on our St. Louis adventure tomorrow and I have a lot to do to prepare for the kids and my mom as well as packing us. The idea of working these extra meetings was to have some money for St. Louis so it's a good thing I just am ready to be done.

The poor boys have 2 days worth of school to do today in order not to get behind this weekend and I know I have that waiting for me when I get home. That's a lot of paperwork and they do better when it's spread out over the course of the day verses cramming into a couple of hours.

Part of my issues is that last week I had a heckler. No joke. In the second meeting there was a lady who was mad at the world and decided to take it out on her Weight Watcher's leader sub. I bet she was fun for the substitute teachers in High School. She just sat in the back and audibly harumphed at about everything I said with offensive comments laced in. Hopefully she detested me so much she won't be there this week.

Oh and did I mention that I wrote all over their marker board last week with a permanent sharpie? In my defense they had sharpies and dry erase markers all in the same mug.

Well I better head out into the rain or I'll be late. It's always fine once I get there. I may treat myself to a QT just to make sure the morning goes well :)

Not So Bad

I went today to pick up the pack n play. The listing on craigslist had the same picture as the one I showed in my previous post and she said the only difference was the coloring. I was so excited. We drove over there gave her the cash and drove home.

Does anyone see the obvious mistake? I didn't check it...at all. Once I got home I took it out of the package and realized it's not even the right brand name let alone the right style. It stunk really bad, I mean REALLY bad. I know better so I was more frustrated at myself than anything.

Once I took it apart and scrubbed it senseless it's actually not that bad. It's not the fancy one I wanted. I probably could have bought a new one for just a little more than I paid her for this one since it's not the fancier style (ugh). But all in all now that it's clean it's pretty nice. It's my favorite color combination. It's a soft yellow and chambray blue. The little toys on the toy bar hadn't even been used and were still in the original packaging. It also has a lights and sounds feature. There is a little radio type thing that attaches to the side that plays music and nature sounds as well as having a soft light to see the baby by. I didn't think it worked at first but after some new batteries it works just fine.

It smells like fresh laundry and is a lot nicer than the old one I had. I wanted the fancier style because I was going to use it in our room for the bassinet. We have a nice wooden bassinet that I can use. I tried to repost it now that it's clean but internet browser won't load the page.

I emailed the seller explaining my frustrations but honestly it was my fault for not checking it out first. Here it is tell me what you would do...

A Good Week

I am beaming. There are several reasons but honestly the main reason is I'm just happy. Plain ol' happy. There have been a couple things that could cause one to flip (like a hospital sending you to collections and said collection agency drafting $500 out of our checking account; driving to the bank to stop payment on the illegal draft only to find out a couple days later the bank forgot, just sayin...). I feel more with each day that, "I will not be moved." God is good and good things are happening all around us.

Reasons for my beaming:

-Thursday Jared and I leave for a couple days to St. Louis for a wedding. We get a two night stay in a honeymoon suite as a gift from the bride and groom for performing the ceremony. I CAN'T WAIT!! Whoo HOo. My mom is keeping the boys. Vacation!!

-A family in the church called us yesterday and donated a kitchen table and 8 chairs to our family so that when our new addition gets here we will be able to sit as a family for dinner (our current table only sat 6). We prayed so fervently for this little baby and I feel that the Lord is blessing our decision to trust in Him.

-Last weekend we were able to reconnect with a lot of close friends and I've been on cloud 9 ever since. It's so nice to see so many people we love and have missed so much.

-It doesn't seem to matter who we tell about our sweet baby we are constantly greeted with love and excitement. We feel so blessed to be supported by friends and family.

-I have started back to work for Weight Watchers and my meetings are going well and the income is helping with the increase price of everything. I really enjoy the time and can feel it's boosting my confidence and overall sense of well being.

-Volunteering to watch our neighbor's little girl is already providing opportunities to get to know them better. We've been hoping to befriend them since they moved in and they came over the other night and just hung out.

-Thanks to Tashy I am going tomorrow to pick up the pack n play listed in the earlier post. She found one on Craigslist and it was within our price range and ready for pick up!! Did I mention they cost about $179 new and this one is $50!!

-God is good. Like I said, Even the things that would normally get me worked up just don't have a foothold. I can count our blessings and naming them one by one takes away all the stress and allows me to focus on the Goodness of God.

Praise the Lord. I do believe the fog has lifted.

Wanted!! Dead or Alive

Since I am going to start watching little Nadia in just a matter of a days I am on the hunt for a pack-n-play. I made the mistake of selling mine and now realize with another baby on the way it wasn't the wisest idea. I planned on watching for one on craigslist and garage sales until I found the one I was looking for but with baby sitting it all became a little more urgent.

Here is a picture of the pack-n-play I am looking for. If you have one or know someone that does please let them know we're in the market. I'm wanting to spend $50 or less. It's a Graco Pack-N-Play portable play yard. I'm not particular about the colors simply because we don't know what we're having. I did a lot of research and these are the best to grow with the baby. We tend to have massive children and a lot of the p&p's don't support children when they are bigger toddlers and are best for infants. This should work for watching little Nadia as well as be a perfect portable nursery for our newest little addition.

The Best Evening!

Last night Jared and I had the pleasure of being invited to Mr. and Mrs. Caleb Champ's wedding (yay!). Before Jared was hired at WCCC we worked at Rushville Christian Church for 5 years. This particular wedding was like reunion for us. The Bride was from our current church of 8 years and the groom was from our previous church of 5.

Jared and I are 31 and we were hired at Rushville at 19. So when you are talking about 13 years these two church families have been a major part of our adult lives. We were able to see people we haven't seen in years. It was such a blessing!

Jared commented that out of the 10 people in the wedding party 8 of them had been in his youth group at one point. I have to admit it was odd to see these two worlds of ours combining. We had Brian Champ (Rushville) and Leanne Prince (WCCC) walking down the isle together as the best man and matron of honor. They are both people that Jared and I love and respect. They both were great roll models in their youth groups and now are upstanding amazing adults that we just love to spend time with and there they were...together.

It was so much fun. We stayed out until after ten and didn't even realize the time had passed. I think the best part was people realizing that we were expecting and it was our 5th. We were greeted with smiles, encouragement, excitement and love. It was such a blessing to be reunited with so many of God's family. I imagine we caught a small glimpse of what heaven will be like.

Healing!!

I'm not real sure what happened but my wrist is healed!! I noticed this afternoon that the pain was so much less and eventually just went away. I'm not sure if I had a pinched nerve or what but wearing the brace seemed to do the trick.

I am so HAPPY!! I can type until the wee hours of the morning. I can't even begin to express my thankfulness for the relief!!

Thank you Lord.

He Provides

I am currently hen pecking the keyboard with my right hand. My left wrist is good as long as the brace stays on and I don't move it.

Jared and I were hanging out with the fab 7 last night when my neighbor stopped in. She very timidly asked if I would consider watching their little girl Nadia twice a week during school. She was very sweet and was obviously worried about our response. Jared and I were extremely flattered that she trusts us and knows Nadia would be safe in our care.

After discussing it we decided to accept her offer. I will watch her on Wednesdays and Thursdays starting August 13 from 9-3. It is such a blessing because it will be more income to put towards debt and baby and I don't even have to leave the house. She naps when Graham naps (ideally speaking) so it won't even affect the boys school.

God is good.

Bracing for Success

Yesterday morning I awoke with a pretty annoying pain in my left wrist. I didn't think a whole lot of it at first but as the day wore on it hurt more and more. Finally by evening I couldn't even use it and my wrist was left to rest on my mid section and completely worthless. If I even turned my wrist, used my fingers, or flexed my wrist at all shooting pain would run from my wrist up to my elbow right between the two bones of my forearm.

I took tylenol to relieve the pain and it didn't touch it. I thought after a good nights rest it would be better this morning but instead I was up off and on through the night due to laying on it or turning it just right. I've been real careful not to use it today and I thought it somewhat tolerable until Jared said, "why haven't you called the Dr.? You might as well of had your wrist in a sling for the last two days."

I called and Dr. Sheridan assumes that I am struggling with carpel tunnel in my left wrist that was inflamed by sleeping with my wrist flexed over night. I was diagnosed with carpel tunnel or sever tendinitis in my thumbs about 6 months ago after finally going in to find out why I had so much pain just in the base joint of my thumbs.

Apparently pregnancy hormones have a tendency to aggravate carpal tunnel and it should get worse before it gets better. Well at least there's good news, ohh wait. They recommended a brace to allow the inflammation to heal and it's a bit cumbersome but if it helps I leave it on until next year. I can't believe how bad it hurts. I have a new respect for those of you who struggle with this. My sweet friend Michelle has had two braces on her wrists for most of the time I've known her. OUCH!

Well here's hoping the brace will bring some relief by tomorrow or my texting/typing days are over.

A House Full

Jarod and Laura A. are at World's of Fun today and we are blessed by watching their three Ethan 5, Sean 4, Kaitlyn 2. I asked that Jared take his day off today to help and it's really been a pleasant day without issue.

At 10 am I decided to start working towards taking the kids to the spray park. It took a hour to get 7 kids and two adults ready to go. We headed out with my younger two and the Anderson's in the van while Jared took our older two in his car. We had plenty of car seats and it was fun to see the van full to the brim.

Jared and I took a book and a bag of snacks for the kids and they played and played for over an hour. They had a wonderful time.

We have been really enjoying Katie Mae. She's just precious and the difference between her and the boys is just fascinating. She climbed up to the bar for lunch and gently swept her hair back behind her shoulders. She loves to catch our attention and give a coy smile and tuck her head to her shoulder. Sweetness just oozes from her little self.

I told Jared that spending time with her really encourages my desire for a daughter. Don't get me wrong I adore my boys and would love another but I can't help but wonder what it would be like.

Week 6

If you read the ticker at the side of the page you will see we're closing in on a full 6 weeks and my how we've grown.

Our little bean is looking a little less vegetable like and more like a tadpole. "At 6 Weeks Gestation. The lungs are beginning to form.
Brain activity can be recorded. Eyes are present, but no eyelids yet.
The heart is more developed and is beating. Early reflexes develop.
The hands and feet have fingers and toes, but may still be webbed.
The length is less than 1/4 inch."

I actually called the doctor yesterday about my rapidly expanding middle and they reassured me that it was completely normal to need maternity pants already since this is my 5th. I thought for sure they would laugh at me for the call but they were kind and reassuring. I guess they're used to scared hormonal women calling at all hours of the day and night.

I've been walking anywhere from 3.5 to 5.5 miles a morning and the morning sickness has let up considerably. I read that it should help and even though it's almost impossible to get up the gumption to go I start feeling better within 5-10 minutes of walking and feel better the rest of the day.

2 weeks from today we get our first sono and a beautiful view of that precious beating heart. I will be sure to post pictures of our little black and white blob as soon as I have them!!

Why??

Why doesn't my 2 year old nap? Does that seem fair or right to you? I am currently listening to the frustrated cries of a child that was removed prematurely from his crib by Tanner. He is not frustrated for being released he's upset for some unknown reason and unable to cope due to his fatigue.

School today took a long and agonizing 4 hours to complete. No one really seemed able to focus. Thankfully for 2 hours of it Graham was in his bed refusing to nap verses crawling all over me and writing an "A" on his brother's paperwork.

If he won't sleep he will at least jump incessantly in his crib for a hour or two. I would like to say it's for quiet time or rest but he's not able to do either. He's like the energizer bunny on crack. Lucky for him he's stinking adorable or he may just be intolerable :)

2 Years

Today is the 2 year anniversary of my Dad's death. It's surreal that it's been that long. There has been a lot that's happened in those two years. I really feel like in the last few months I have really started to heal and truly thrive.

This pregnancy has been a true blessing. I feel like I am focused on life and the wonderful people and things God has placed in our lives. Especially for the first year I focused on death and the loss of Dad and the loss of everything I ever hoped our relationship should have been or could have been.

I decided this year I wasn't going to be here at home missing my siblings instead my brother Jason and I have an evening planned to just spend some time together. I think we may do dinner and a movie. It doesn't really matter what we do as long as we're together.

Needless to say I think about Dad daily but I can honestly say that I am able to think on him with love and nostalgia verses all the hurt and sadness that stemmed from the event of his death. God is good. Time doesn't heal all wounds regardless of what they say, but with a loving husband and a loving God I am able to look forward to the life He has granted.

"Lily" Update

Jared read my blog earlier and said he likes Lily just fine but really isn't sure about Liliana (lily-on-a). The funny part was he said he doesn't feel like he can object since God gave it to me in a vision.

Not exactly what happened :) The only problem with going just with Lily is that it's super high on the list of common names. I'm not entirely sure why this bugs me since my kids are home schooled. Unless I stuttered and named two children by the same name they're pretty much guaranteed to be the only one in their class.

The more I think about Lilyana I like it. I think it's unique and pretty. I thought I had kinda made it up but apparently it's a name in it's own right and is on the dreaded list. It's in the lower 100's and I have to say I haven't ever heard of anyone named that.

The good news is we have plenty of time and there's always the chance it will be a boy.

Matthew 6:25-34

Since the reality has started to settle in my worry gland is in overdrive. Last night I sat up with Jared until midnight expressing all my fears and concerns surrounding the pregnancy, our finances, the house, home schooling, the other kids and on and on and on. I swear his hair was blown back. He just looked at me with a wide eyed stare.

He gently said, "Why don't you go to bed and rest." So I went to bed but rest didn't come. One of my "issues" is not being able to find a baby girl name that is both unique and beautiful. I laid in bed last night praying and laying all these concerns before Him when I asked, "Can I not come up with any girl names because we're having another boy? Is it futile to ponder and search when it's not going to happen?"

I want names that have meaning. I told Jared that I liked the name Mary simply because of the story in the bible about Mary and Martha. I am a Martha and I want to be more of a Mary. If we were to have a daughter I would want to raise her to prioritize sitting at the feet of Jesus (Mary) over all else and not be a worker bee like her momma (Martha). The name would be a reminder of that goal. The problem is neither of us really like it enough to use it.

During my prayer and petition I started in on all my concerns and stresses and I truly believe the Lord said, "Lily." (not audible, just the thoughts weren't mine. I'm not hearing voices, it's all good). I was reminded of Matthew chapter 6:25-34.

Do Not Worry

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I laid there reminded of how God has always provided and will continue to. I was also given a name that I adore. Lilianna or Lily interchangeably. How precious to have a child that is a constant reminder of how God provides and we aren't to worry about any of it. My job is to seek Him first and the rest will follow.

Now...I just have to see what Jared thinks :)

Morning, Noon, but mostly Night sickness

Wowza. I honestly don't remember being this ill with any of the boys (although Jared claims I complained plenty). Today was the worst day by far. I actually thought I would vomit on about 3 occasions.

I tried to eat to see if it would help and it really does for a few minutes but then it comes back full force. There isn't much of anything that sounds good and I have even been struggling to drink pop. Isn't that sad? I can't drink pop or coffee. I know that's good as far as the caffeine consumption is concerned, but I don't drink much else and nothing sounds good. I really don't want to end up dehydrated.

This is new to me. I'm not complaining just noting it. It's difficult to endure but encouraging knowing that my hormones must be increasing at a rapid rate for me to feel this off. I honestly believe any amount of sickness or weight issues (which one may take care of the other) are temporary and absolutely worth it.

To Blog or Not to Blog

I've been trying for two days now to log onto my MySpace account in order to write a brief blog about the boys, life and stuff. The problem is it will let me log in but then won't go to my home page.

Part of my reason for starting this blog was due to the frustrations of MySpace and honestly I'm about ready to just put a link to this blog and call it good. I have been spending more time on Facebook and less on MySpace anyway. The only reason to keep it up is the traffic it gets. In a year and a half or so of writing I have nearly 25,000 hits. I like the idea of people happening upon it and hearing some Truth about Christ.

I write about a lot of goofy stuff but I always try to bring it back to our dependence on Him. This blog is to log my journey, prayers, and joys of being a mom of 5. I am so consumed with the little life God is creating and with the boys most things I write are going to belong on this blog anyway.

Tell me what you think. Is blogger more easily accessed? I appreciate the spell check and the automatic draft saving plus lots of others perks blogger offers. I guess the only perk to M.S. is the traffic. Hmmmm. What to do, what to do...

Ouchie Mamma

My legs are so sore! I must say I'm embarrassed that after a 3 mile walk I'm so stinking sore. It was not that long ago I was running 5-6 miles several times a week. Apparently stopping all exercise for a couple months seriously affects my stamina.

It is my goal to walk at least 5 days a week early in the morning before the heat strikes. I am excited to think that it could actually help me keep my weight in check. I actually felt a lot better the rest of the day.

The other thing I'm noticing is I'm very quick tempered and have been raising my voice to the kids. I pulled out my Home Schooling With a Meek and Quiet Spirit and decided to do the study that comes with it. I really don't want my pregnancy to be a burden to my family. I highly recommend this book to any mother not just home schoolers. She has a lot of practical and spiritual advice on how to be a firm yet meek and quiet parent. My goal is for my children to remember me as someone who loved them dearly and devoted my life to their spiritual, emotional, and physical wellbeing, NOT as a screamer.

A Great Morning!

I went for my walk this morning. I walked 3 miles and burned over 300 calories (thank you nike plus). While I was walking I decided to walk to a super nice neighborhood near us and walk their sidewalks.

I didn't realize they were having their neighborhood garage sales! What a nice walk!! I get to get in some exercise and shop in a ritzy neighborhood. Since all I had on me was a $10, my cell phone and my ipod I decided stopping was silly because I would have to carry any purchases a mile and a half back home. Silly is my middle name apparently. I couldn't help myself. This one house had tons of new baby stuff and I thought I should just check and see if she had any maternity clothing.

***Quick aside. You would think I would have tons since this is my 5th. Problem is I gave it all away to my sweet expecting friend because we were...ummm...done. So now I am preggers, starting to show and have nothing to wear.***

Not only did she have some, but she had a ton and it was all beautiful and IN MY SIZES!!!! She too goes from small/medium to OH MY GOODNESS. Her baby was also due in March. This was a match made in big belly heaven. I asked her if she would consider just selling me the tub worth for a good deal. Honestly a good deal would have been a couple hundred dollars. All these clothes were immaculate and designer brands. She thought about it for a while and ended up offering the tub full plus several other pieces she found in another tub for $80. That was still a lot of money for us.

Jared and I discussed our finances and such and we decided that this would definitely save us money in the end and honestly it's such nice name brand stuff I shouldn't have any trouble reselling it after 1 pregnancy.

The best part that being a minister's wife and weight watcher's leader I need nicer stuff to wear to work and all of this would work for home, church or work! Here's $80 worth of fancy maternity clothes:

47 Shirts (mainly blouses/couple t-shirts)

7 Tank Tops (4 of which are nursing tanks with built in nursing snaps on straps)

5 pairs of shorts

4 dresses

2 skirts

11 pairs of pants/jeans/capri pants(2)

1 swimsuit

1 night gown

2 leisure out fits. One cranberry terry pant and jacket set, and one white knit set with a pink satin stripe up the leg and on the arm of the jacket (still has the tags on it!!)

Whoo hoo! I shouldn't need another thing for the rest of this pregnancy or for postpartum. It's quite the wardrobe. Now I have to empty my closet of all the non stretchy stuff and start hanging up my new purchases. Is that a good deal or what! Oh, and I walked home a got the van.

I'm Diggin' This

I think I like this much better. I really like pink but this seems a little more classy and easier on the eyes. I may just stick with this for a while. What do you think?

By the way when I ask questions they're not meant to be rhetorical. Feel free to comment! I actually moved to blogger so all my non-myspacers out there could feel free to say what they please and have it forever posted on the internet!

Comment freely, God bless.

Reality

I know it's going to sound like ridiculous at 5 weeks, but I'm stinking showing. I know I'm not gaining weight because I'm too ill to eat much. My belly is bloated and my shirts are tight around my middle. That baby is the size of a grain of rice!! What's up?!

I am completely aware that with each baby it becomes harder to "hide" but seriously? Are there 4 in there??? I'm already bracing myself for the, "are you sure there's not 2," and "when are you due?"

I asked Jared if he was going to make an announcement at church letting everyone know about our newest addition. I have two very selfish reasons. 1)I want people to know that I'm not just gaining my weight back. 2) And...I want people to know how much we deliberated over this decision and it was prayerful and planned.

I'm not sure why I care other than I'm hormonal and I'm female.

I really thought that the weight issue wouldn't affect me as much as it had in the past because I am doing SO much better when it comes to not obsessing. I haven't even weighed myself much in months (I used to weigh multiple times a day).

BUT...I can feel an ugliness washing over me. Can you say HORMONES!! It's just ridiculous but those thoughts just keep creeping in.

I am going to start a walking routine in the morning. I think that a little time on my own with my worship music will be a boost to my morale as well as my health. My weight is a little higher than it was with the last 2 and I really want to keep it in check vs gaining 60 lbs like before. I am determined to have a healthy pregnancy both physically and emotionally.

Yipee, Whoo Hoo, YAY! God is SO good!

I got my labs back this morning and they are perfect! The nurse said they look great, healthy, good to go! I am so excited and relieved.

We have our first OB appointment on Aug. 6. I will be in week 8 and we will get to see the heartbeat and the tiny bean! We are so excited and thankful to our God!

I really appreciate all your prayers and well wishes. It looks like our precious little life is going to be just fine.

Working towards a family of 7 in March! Praise God!!!

Baby Bjorn

Here are some pic of the super cool diaper bag. It's black with silver pulls. The flash washes it out a bit. When completely closed it is really compact but just wait until it's completely open! Too Cool!





The amount of storage in this thing is absolutely unreal. I tried to pull some pictures off of their website because it shows the bag full of baby items and wonderfully organized but there's some sort of copyright or something :) Quite the find! I am going to start using it for our little Graham since he's a typical Altic boy and not even interested in potty training. He's 2 and a half and if he follows his older siblings we have another 6 months of diaper changes.

The good news is he should be fully trained by the time our newest gets here. I fully plan on going from buying size 6 diapers to size N (newborn). Can't wait!

Goodwill Rocks!

I went to the goodwill today to look for clothes that will fit my expanding middle. While we were there I found 3 new pair of jeans, a skirt, a robe, and the best find of all a Baby Bjorn diaper bag.

I knew the name was an expensive brand because of the carriers they sell. I didn't realize they sold pretty much everything else too. This is the neatest diaper bag ever. The best part was I paid $2.98 and it retails for $129.00 online! WHOO HOO!

It's in great shape and it's black so Jared won't refuse to carry it. I am so excited. I plan on cleaning it up, filling it and being quite sheik while fully supplied with every possible gadget, diaper, and wipe necessary :)

5 weeks

Do you have a list of questions for God? Seriously. I often have thoughts and can't wait to get to heaven and just ask. I also wonder if once we have our new bodies and new minds if we will just know all the things that don't make much since in this world.

Now on the less "serious" side here is my question: Why weren't women created much like an oven? Hear me out. How much fear and worry would be reduced if we had a window in our belly that allowed us a look see at our uterus at any given moment? I wouldn't mind a button for the light as long as it was discreet. I could push said button, look in there and see that our little peanut is alive and well. Whew, what a relief that would be :)

Since we do not have a window or discreet button for lighting I thought I would search the internet and give you a glimpse of what a 5 week gestation baby looks like.

Wow, looks a lot like a green bean. It's about the size of a grain of rice. So why am I bloated out to there looking pregnant already? Could be that this being the 5th my body's like, "oh yeah, we've done this before." Is this be why everyone calls it their bean, or peanut? It's shocking that my little boys looked like this once. I guess we all looked like this once.

Regardless of how alien it looks right now I'm in love. Smoochie smoochie little bean. We can't wait to meet you, name you, kiss you, love you...

Switchin It Up

I have been looking through the different templates and I found one I like a little better and it's different than my good friend Jenny's. We used to have pretty similar looking blogs. I like the pink obviously and this seems a little more on the soft side.

Let me know what you think. Is it easy to read? Do the colors make your eyes hurt :)? I just thought it was a little more simple and I really like the softness of it. I'm always up for suggestions so throw them at me!

Ummm More Name Fun!?!

You don't mind do you? Really? I love to write down the names we're thinking about simply so I don't forget them and I also really like getting your input.

For those of you who know my precious husband you are aware of his nerdiness. Don't worry it doesn't offend him, he knows and I think it's HOT so we're good. Anyway, he loves words and their meanings. I find the longer I'm with him I am becoming more and more of a word nerd myself.

Jared told me the other day that he really liked the name Quinten. I do and have for quite a while. My only issue is people tend not to enunciate Quinten and you end up with Quih-hen. His reason for bringing it up is that it means 5th, 5, or 5th son. I love that! I also really like Quint and we could call him that just like Elijah is Eli interchangeably.

Last night while praying for our baby's safety we started talking about names again mainly because it brings us comfort and it's exciting. We like Nathanial for a middle name. So you end up with Quinten Nathanial Altic. Doesn't it have a nice ring to it?! We really try to evaluate every possible angle and we realized his initials would be QNA. We both giggled simply because this pregnancy and our decision for a 5th has definitely encouraged several Q & A sessions with family and friends.

So there you have it. What do you think? I do believe Quinten has out ranked Max at this point in the game. Be prepared for the enunciation police if we go with it. More updated reports to come.

So Far So Good

Today has been a good day. I haven't had any spotting and I've been queasy this afternoon. Both positive signs. I talked to the doctor's office today and they want me to come in early Thursday morning for lab work to make sure my levels double.

After being super ill yesterday and not feeling so hot today I'm really feeling peace about all of it. Jared and I spent some time last night in prayer for our little baby and that alone gave me great peace.

We really appreciate your kind words of encouragement and all the prayers you can muster.

God Bless.

Lab Results

The doctor's office called this evening and told Jared that we are indeed 4 weeks or so pregnant and my labs are considered low normal. They are not concerned and were very encouraging to Jared. They asked that I go back in 2-3 days for another lab to see that my levels are increasing at the appropriate rate.

Apparently every woman is different and HCG levels vary greatly from one individual to another. Obviously we were greatly encouraged from this report. I came home from work tonight and loaded up the family and went to the Legends for ice cream. The boys were really enjoying themselves and it was such a nice evening.

Partway through our night we headed to NIKE to use the facilities. I had bright red spotting so we loaded up and headed home. Just as we were feeling encouraged we were reminded of the fragility of this precious life.

Add the "low" normal to the red spotting and we are obviously concerned. Jared and I covet your prayers as we wait the 2-3 days before our next appointment.

Having to Earn my Peace

Today is 4 weeks 3 days and I've had some slight spotting this morning. I had it with all the other kids and stressed out each time. I still had a bright pink line this morning on the last of my pregnancy tests. That line was an encouragement.

I am planning on taking it easy and just hanging out at home. I called the doctor so I can go in for those labs and am waiting to hear back from them.

I've had no cramping just feeling ill and can't drink my coffee. I trust in the Lord and I will rejoice and be glad in Him.

Good Preacher Sermon

Jared's sermon this morning was about trusting God. His sermon was based on Phil. 4:2-7. Verses 4-7 are the ones that pierced my heart.

"4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Our best guess about last month's confusion was that I had a chemical pregnancy. I've done quite a bit of reading just trying to make sense of what happened. Here is a clip of information from a site speaking about a "chemical" pregnancy.

"What is a Chemical Pregnancy?

A chemical pregnancy occurs when a fertilized egg does not implant into the uterine wall. If a pregnancy test is taken just at the right time it will be positive, however, when a repeat test is taken several days later it will be negative. A chemical pregnancy leaves the couple to cope with the difficult news of thinking they were pregnant when in reality they are miscarrying. However, majority of women who have a chemical pregnancy never know they are pregnant before they miscarry and begin what they think is their normal menstrual cycle.

Signs and Symptoms of a Chemical Pregnancy

Due to the fact that in a chemical pregnancy a fertilized egg does not implant into the uterus most women do not experience signs and symptoms of pregnancy (ie. tender breast, nausea, and / or fatigue). There are a few reports of women who have been pregnant in the past who state that they felt pregnant with their chemical pregnancy. There may be mild abdominal cramping as well as mild spotting just prior to what most women think is their normal menstrual cycle. The menstrual cycle usually begins on time or a few days late."

This is exactly what we went through and probably wouldn't have even known had we not been keeping track. So this month I have taken pregnancy tests for the last several days getting progressively darker lines and they show up instantly. This morning's test was the best. I find great comfort in that because it shows my hormones are increasing and the constant positives give me hope that this pregnancy will be okay.

I have realized in the last couple days as the reality has set in that I am already worried about the health and safety of this precious life. It's a little shocking that we are pregnant already. It's wonderful but obviously the fear of losing another pregnancy (we've lost 3) can be paralyzing. In Jared's sermon this morning he mentioned a quote that basically said for a Christian to worry is an insult to God.

I've been reading online about the 5th week and how the heart forms this week. The website specifically says not to get too excited at this stage because the next few weeks are "critical" in the baby's development. They warn against making large announcements (like posting it on the internet? oops). My theory is we believe life begins at fertilization and if we were to lose this pregnancy we would want the love and support of our family and friends.

I have been convicted about my fears. My God is the maker of heaven and earth. He loves this little life more than I can even imagine. The best part is with His peace regardless of what happens I will not be moved. We appreciate your prayers for our little bean and for me as I learn to let go of things I ultimately have no control over. It is my desire to access the peace mentioned above through prayer, petition and with thanksgiving.

More Name Fun!

I was home without Jared on Thursday from 9 am-10:30 pm so I entertained myself. I have mentioned my love for the name Hazel and it dawned on me that this baby is likely going to be a boy so I probably should look at those as well :)

Here's some that I found on the internet. Let me know what you think. I'll list them favorite to least favorite but still awesome.

Harris-When the boys were quick to say, "I'll call him Hairy Butt! Hey Harry are you hairy?" added with tons of giggles. This may seriously affect our decision.

Max- The actual names are Maxwell or Maximillion. I don't really care for either of those so we would probably just call him Max. It's a nice German name (Jared's family). Jared's worried lots of people will say, "I used to have a dog named that!" I'm not too concerned about what's popular in the dog realm. After all I named my dog one of the top 5 girl names for the last 2 years (Sophia). I do have to admit Maury was really close to being a Max.

Matthias-This means Gift of God. I really like it but am concerned that as a nick namer I will call him Matty for the rest of his life. My brother Mathew has been called Matty by his big sis for 21 years. Plus when mentioning it to the boys they looked like they had just sucked on a lemon. I have to admit it does sound a little formal.

Myles-Jared doesn't even like it so I guess I probably shouldn't list it since it doesn't have an honest chance. I like it. He thinks it sounds wimpy and nerdy. Oh well. Maybe we'll just name him Ace or Killer or something ;)

All of these names follow our rule of a new letter for the beginning and ending of the their name compared to the other kids. I really think my favorite right now is Max simply because of the kids eagerness to make fun of Harris. I love to hear your suggestions and opinions. Comment often ;)

BTW When Jared's precious grandmother was here on July 3rd I mentioned to her our love of the name Hazel and she just sat there. I said,"don't you like it?" Her response was,"Well hopefully you'll have a full 9 months to think of a better name." Apparently in the generations before mine Hazel had a similar connotation to Dorcas. For example: when you do something without thought or make a mistake you would teasingly be called Hazel. Who knew! I still love it though :)

Positively Beautiful

Starting about 3 days ago I started getting super faint lines on pregnancy tests. Jared questioned my eyesight and I promised to keep testing (love those Dollar Tree tests) until I was able to give him an obvious line.

Yesterday I tested with two different tests. First the Dollar Tree test and the line was there but super faint. I headed off to Wal-Mart to get an Early Answer test. When I got home I used it and had a faint line almost immediately. I showed it to Jared and he saw it but still was hoping for something darker. This morning I used another dollar tree test and there it was! Within a minute a nice obvious line.

I am guessing that 4 positives is a positively wonderful sign that we are PREGNANT! I've been a little gun shy because of last month but to have consistent lines that are getting darker with each day is a pretty big confidence booster.

With my history of miscarriage I am going in on Monday to have some preliminary labs done just to make sure my levels are increasing at a healthy rate. My due date is March 20, 09. Supposedly each pregnancy gets progressively shorter so maybe I'll have a birthday baby (March 4).

While reading online there is a lot of abbreviations, acronyms, and phrases that go along with people ttc (trying to conceive). BFP (big fat positive), BFN (big fat negative), DPO (days post ovulation), EDD (estimated due date), Sticky bean (a baby that isn't lost through miscarriage, it sticks).

Jared and I would appreciate your prayers for our newest little bean. Prayers that he or she is a sticky bean.

Just Thinking...

I guess I haven't written too much because I don't feel like I have a whole lot to report.

We're currently nearing the end of the 2 week wait between Ovulation and the end of the cycle. I've been very emotional the last week and a half as I mentioned in my earlier post. I find myself going back and forth from desperation and longing to contentment with our boys.

Today's a contentment day. I just feel like we're settling into an easier life. The kids are getting more and more self-sufficient and I have more freedom than I've had in years. Even when taking all 4 somewhere they are well behaved for the most part. School has been going well without much hiccups. Elijah really isn't quite ready for Abeka's kindergarten. I've decided to do their K4 curriculum with him and he's thriving.

Tash and I were talking today about pregnancy and the aches pains and pounds that go with it and I had some clarity of thought. It is rough to endure a pregnancy for most woman and nursing isn't always easy. Let's not even touch on the extreme impatience that comes with the postpartum weight loss. The main thing is that it is all temporary. The blessing of another child is life long. In this get it now society we tend to forget the big picture.

It's a very small percentage of your life when you consider the blessing of adding to your family. All the things I mentioned about the kids getting more self sufficient and easier would only be interrupted for a year, year and a half and then things will start to settle again. And to get you through the sleepless nights and jiggly belly you have a beautiful little baby that smells amazing and feels so soft and is all yours. The sweet smiles, the cooing, the tiny feet, and those precious little neck rolls that are just begging for kisses. I just can't wait (oops, there went the contentment).

Mean Mean Lady

Often when I'm being a little harsh or just plain mean Jared will somewhat laughingly say, "You're just a mean mean lady." He mainly says it to make me aware of my tone and inappropriate comments. For the last 4 or 5 days I have truly been a mean mean lady.

I'm not sure what is wrong with me. I have been so stinking angry. I have snapped at Jared and the boys and just seem to have a hair trigger when it comes to goofy stuff that should really be no big deal.

Today I got so worked up I knew I was being unreasonable and finally calmed down with a good cry. Sometimes I just hate being a girl. I would love to be calm and reasonable at all times with a sweet smile and full of love and affection for all those who come in contact with me.

Unfortunately I can't quite pull it together right now. PMS?? It's to early for that. Hmm is being a big meanie an early pregnancy symptom?

1000 Hits

Wow. I was really shocked to see this blog hit a thousand already. Thank you for checking out my goofiness. I know that there has to be people out there that can relate and my hit counter proves it! Thank you so much for reading.

Happy 4th!

-Happy 4th of July to you all. Jared and I took the boys to see Wall-e today. It was super cute and quite the love story. I can't wait to own it on DVD.

-I have a couple fun websites that I've been enjoying during our quest for #5. I thought I would share them with you for fun.

-The first one is POAS. It stands for pee on a stick. It's hilarious and highly informative. It's basically for all of those who are obsessed with home pregnancy tests. It lets you know what the most affordable tests are as well as the most accurate. There are a slew of questions answered, some that you probably never thought of.

-The other is 2WW. It stands for 2 week wait. The basic idea for this website is that it typically takes 14 days from ovulation until the beginning of another cycle. Those who are ttc (trying to conceive) drive them selves mad documenting and analyzing every hiccup and gas bubble trying to determine if it's an early pregnancy symptom. It's basically a forum for these women to find support, encouragement, and information from others who are also obsessing.

-We are currently in the 2 week wait and it is a bit difficult not to over analyze everything. It helps a lot to be busy with the boys school. The days pass quickly. I have really been enjoying the boys and all their little individual gifts and talents. It amazing how much loving them excites us for another.

-We've been enjoying looking at names and trying them out with family to see their reactions. I love the name Hazel and so far no else does but Jared. Luckily he's the only one that matters :) I also really like Gideon but that goes against our rule (we already have a "g" name). I like Asher, Jared does not. I like Ramsey, Jared thinks it's okay. I love Eden, Jared does not at all. We both think Cooper is cute (only problem is it makes me think of my mom's old dog who was named Cooper). It's fun to think of all the names because for the first time we don't really have a name we really want to use. So we're starting with a clean slate.

-We had all the Altic Family over last night for Alanna's birthday and to celebrate the 4th on the 3rd :) It was so heartwarming to see all the cousins playing together in our front yard. The kids kept joining together in a group hug and then would disband only to regroup in a few minutes. They thought it was funny, we thought it was precious. We are so thankful that our boys are able to grow up with so much family on both sides as a constant part of their lives. What a blessing!