Are We There Yet?

Yesterday was a very full 12 hours. I left the house at 8 am and didn't get back home until after 8 last night. Brennan has been really sick for the last 24 hours and I don't like being away when my kids aren't feeling well. This has got to be the worst bug our household has seen in a year.

This next week was supposed to be my last week of Weight Watchers back to back but I got an email from my co-worker yesterday saying she's hoping to be ready to come back by Christmas or just after. Jared and I talked about it and I just can't keep up this pace for another 2-3 weeks or more. I'm going to have to call my boss tomorrow and ask for some help. I'm worn out. I miss my kids and my clean house. I've been struggling with quite a bit of back pain and leg pain and I really think it's because I'm always on my feet and not wearing comfortable shoes. I'm surprised how quickly I'm entering the, "are we there yet" phase of this pregnancy. I dream about her, I think about her constantly, I'm desperate to meet my baby girl.

Caroling went well. We were at the craft fair for a little over 4 hours and sang and sang. It's always a little funny the first time we start because everyone looks at us like we're nuts. Once they realize we're supposed to be there and we don't need to be committed they seem to really enjoy us.

Last night was the second annual Woman of Wyandotte. Anita puts it together and it's a night of fun and fellowship for the woman of the church and their sisters, mothers, friends. There seemed to be a really good turn out. Anita asked me to sing last night and after a really long day (month) and coming down with a cold I debated for two days whether or not to cancel. I haven't sang a solo since this time last year and I was petrified on top of everything else. Needless to say it didn't go well. I lost my place in the words and the beginning was rough due to a tired scratchy throat. Why oh why didn't I go with my instincts and just say, "no thank you, maybe next year." Apparently I can't say no to anything.

One thing I did learn however through all that is I've changed a lot over the years. I used to look for a reason to sing solos and sang often in our previous church (once a month at least) and did some when we first came here. I was convicted over time by the song Jesus Lover of My Soul:

Verse:
Jesus,Lover of my soul All consuming fire is in Your gaze Jesus, I want You to know I will follow You all my days, No one else in history is like You and history itself belongs to You, Alpha and Omega, You have loved me and I will share eternity with You

Chorus:
It's all about You, Jesus and all this is for You, for Your glory and Your fame, It's not about me, As if You should do things my way, You alone are God and I surrender To Your ways

Verse:
Jesus,Lover of my soul All consuming fire is in Your gaze Jesus, I want You to know I will follow You all my days, No one else in history is like You and history itself belongs to You, Alpha and Omega, You have loved me and I will share eternity with You

Chorus:
It's all about You, Jesus and all this is for You, for Your glory and Your fame, It's not about me, As if You should do things my way, You alone are God and I surrender To Your ways

As much as I enjoy singing and really feel it is a tool for worship I really don't feel the need or desire to jump up in front of a group of people and sing a rendition of Amazing Grace. It's all about You Jesus and all this is for You, for YOUR glory and YOUR fame.